evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
