Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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