I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Drake has all the answers
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
