i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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