If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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