She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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