My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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