so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
