I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Who died my cat blue again?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
