def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
