FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My dick has a subreddit
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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