Dual....:-)
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
