I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
