Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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