Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
