OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
