On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
