I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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