Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She told me I should be a condom model.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
