either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize