Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
