If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
