Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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