We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
