well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed