they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS