You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"