What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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