Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.