So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...