Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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