please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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