when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
