Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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