just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
