i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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