But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
