I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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