i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
