she was so not down for the gang bang
I think I won the penis lottery.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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