i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
