I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
