i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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