is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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