Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
