were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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