i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
