did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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