i jhust puked up my retainher.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
