When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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