Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize