Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
