Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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