and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
