you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
