I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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