I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize