i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
