I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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