You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
