ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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