no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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