someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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