there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
