and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
