I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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