I like my sex mixed with concussions.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
