I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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