Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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