I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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